I am in bed at 930 at night like a loser! lol. but baby jay is sick with a fever and im quite exhausted. Im dozing off while typing.... but anyway, I hate boys. Boys are stupid, and they make me feel stupid. I dont understand why I cant just find a good one who actually does what he says he's going to do, and means what he says. This dude I talked to from like Nov to March is like that. Feeding me all this bull about how he wants us to get back together and how he still loves me and how pushing me away was a mistake but now that im actaully willing to try again he acts like i mean nothing to him and like he's not even interested. And everytime I bring it up he just gets an attitude and tells me he wants to be with me and thinks that that is all he has to do and everything is good. I dont see why its so hard for him to show me he cares about me, unless of course he just doesnt. But he gets so pissed when I say im done and that he doesnt care, and i dont see why he would get mad if he didnt care. His excuse is that he's scared bc the 2 girls he was serious about before both cheated on him. And quite honestly I dont know why bc he is absolutely amazing at what he does. If him and I were in a relationship I would never cheat bc the dude i would be cheating with most likely wouldnt be as good!! lmao but anyway, I just dont understand what his deal is, and he never wants to talk about it, so im thinking about just walking away bc im sick of his shit. It's weird tho, bc sometimes he'll act like he cares, he'll some visit me at work, or call/text me all day, try to see me, but then there are days where i wont even hear from him, and ill text him or something and i get nothing. he's probablt still messing with whoever he was before I came back into the picture. I dont know what to do... I know him and I have to talk or im going to get absolutely nothing. Love isnt supposed to hurt, but all this love brings is pain. I think its time to let go, but I really dont want to give up on him. I dont know why.... This sucks!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
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As your older sister... know that I am saying this with love
YOU ARE A HOPELESS ROMANTIC
I think you need to just work on you right now... I know you want to be in a relationship and have the cute little family but I dont think that's where your focus should be. Especially if every one your in keeps making you feel down about yourself.
Remember that love finds you when you arent looking for it... and you need to know your worth. You are beautiful lil sis... and tend to forget that you are a prize at times and dumb yourself down dealing with those stupid unworthy raggedy BOYS in rochester...
I swear if I move to ATL in the fall you should just pack up and come with me. I really feel you need a change of scenery.
I want to see you glow and I dont think that is possible in the ROC. You are so much bigger and have so much more potential than that city.
We'll talk more offline, but let go of that scrub... its obvious he only wants to be in your life when its convenient for him... and you need to let him know that is no longer an option.
Start fresh baby sis!
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